


I Caught One Last Sight

by youvebeenlivingfictional



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: F/M, I've had this idea forever, Pining, Planning for this to be a one-shot, Unrequited Love, cursing, i mean that's usually the plan but that's not always what happens?, so I wrote this instead of doing a research paper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:49:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27902521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youvebeenlivingfictional/pseuds/youvebeenlivingfictional
Summary: It wasn’t that Christopher Pike was accident prone, he just had liked to have a little fun, make a little noise (you also considered him to be something of a trouble magnet, but you’d never tell him that).
Relationships: Christopher Pike/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song Beam Me Up by P!nk

After four years on the Enterprise as a chief security officer, you’d been on your fair number of away missions, had seen your fair number of mishaps, issues, anomalies. They were par for the course. As far as space travel and technology had come, things were still tricky.  
  
It didn’t help that your captain had a penchant for getting in trouble. It wasn’t that Christopher Pike was accident prone, he just had liked to have a little fun, make a little noise (you also considered him to be something of a trouble magnet, but you’d never tell him that). Since returning from Discovery, though, he’d been particularly… Daring might’ve been the word he’d use, but _ridiculous_ was the word on the tip of your tongue.  
  
“Nov O-62,” Number One read the planet name off to the other attendants in the ready room, “Class-M, with few inhabitants.”  
  
You rested your chin on your hand, raising a brow.  
  
She opened a hologram of the planet, pointing to a highlighted section at the top of the planet, “There is one colony - right here. Pre-warp, fairly primitive, so General Order One applies. We’re planning on beaming down here,” Una directed your attention to a spot to the right of the colony, “There’s a deposit of dilithium there. We’ll be able to restock - shouldn’t take too long.”  
  
“We’ll be quick enough,” Pike added.  
  
“You always say that,” You reminded him, arching a brow.  
  
“Maybe one of these days it’ll be true.” He retorted.  
  
“There’s a solar storm set to hit within the next two hours,” Spock reported, “It would be prudent of us to beam down before we have a problem.”  
  
An argument was poised on your tongue, but Pike nodded before you could say a word.  
  
“Suit up, get ready to beam down.”  
  
\--  
  
“You’re worrying.”  
  
He wasn’t asking. Pike could always read you like a book.  
  
“I’m a security officer. It’s my job to worry.”  
  
You didn’t bother to turn to him from where you were leaning against the wall, looking out of the window in the ready room.  
  
“You remember the last solar storm we went through?” You added.  
  
It was back when you and Pike were both test pilots, commissioned by the Academy. Pike’s vessel had almost gone down; you’d been horrified, unable to help him.  
  
“That was a long time ago,” He pointed out.  
  
“Hm.”  
  
“And the Enterprise isn’t some vessel that we’re _testing_. It’ll be fine.”  
  
His hands settled on your shoulders as he stopped behind you and added, “We’ll be fine.”  
  
You turned your head back toward him a bit, “As fine as it was when we faced catastrophic system-wide failure?”  
  
You heard him sigh, “You know, sometimes I don’t think you trust me.”  
  
“Of course I trust you,” You turned to face him finally, peering up at him, “But it is possible to trust someone and still be worried for them. I am still talking to the man that apparently had a phaser go off in his chest while I wasn’t around.”  
  
“I couldn’t have let it go off anywhere else--”  
  
“I’m sure there were alternatives--”  
  
“There were people around--”  
  
“You could’ve pointed it at-- No, no, you know what? I’m not having this conversation again,” You waved Chris off before stepping around him. You walked over to the hologram of the planet, eyeing the colony and the place that the away team would be beaming to.  
  
“You know what amazes me?” You heard Chris ask as he came closer.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Somewhere out there, there might be a universe where you don’t worry this much.”  
  
You huffed, shaking your head.  
  
“That is only possible if, within that same universe, you do not get yourself into so much trouble.”  
  
“Where’s the fun in that?”  
  
He was teasing, trying to cheer you up, and damnit, it was working. You smiled a little bit, shaking your head as you continued to look at the hologram.  
  
“...It’ll be fine,” Pike insisted again; his tone was a little more soft now, and you could feel him watching you. You weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of your whole-hearted concession, but it didn’t matter; you knew you would follow that man anywhere, and he knew that, too.  
  
“Whatever you say, Captain,” You sighed.  
  
\--  
  
You were concerned the second you stepped onto the transporter pad. It was the way the operator was frowning at the console.  
  
“Is everything alright, Ensign?” Number One had asked, and the ensign had nodded and insisted that, of course, everything was fine, there was just some interference from the solar storm. You’d glanced at Pike, but he was staunchly refusing to meet your gaze.  
  
“Any concerns regarding transport?”  
  
“No, Captain.”  
  
“Energize.”  
  
\--  
  
You didn’t need to be commed by the ship to know that you were in the wrong place.  
  
What you did need to do was take a deep breath and swear to the universe that you were never going to have anything to do with a solar storm ever again.  
  
Nov O-62 was a desert planet, but you were surrounded by lush, green grass. You looked around and found yourself alone, without the rest of the away team.  
  
“ _It’ll be fine_ ,” You muttered to yourself, mimicking Pike’s voice, “ _I’m Christopher Pike and solar storms are fun and not at all dangerous_.”  
  
You pulled your communicator out of your belt.  
  
“Enterprise, come in, Enterprise.”  
  
You were met with nothing but static.  
  
“Great. Awesome,” You grumbled, looking around. You pulled out your handheld PADD - maybe you could get a fix on where exactly on Nov O-62 you were and start working your way back toward the rest of the away team.  
  
You frowned when the device wouldn’t get a fix on your location. The map indicated that you weren’t located in any quadrant in the known universe. That-- That had to be a mistake. You took a deep breath, steadying yourself as you began to look around. Higher ground. Maybe if you found higher ground, you could get a better signal and make contact with the Enterprise.  
  
You were careful and quiet as you began to walk, looking around. Wherever you were, it was beautiful - quiet, apparently uninhabited--  
  
And then you froze, hearing a child’s laugh from nearby. You plastered yourself against a tree, holding still. The sound was close, but not right up beside you. You listened for it again, frowning when you heard a familiar voice calling, “Willa Jane Pike, get back here! You need to wash up before supper!”  
  
You frowned deeply.  
  
You knew that voice, you knew that name. You peered around the tree, curious, and you gasped softly.  
  
That was… That was _you_.  
  
Well, it wasn’t you, but it was someone that looked exactly like you, that sounded exactly like you--  
  
Had you hit your head when you’d beamed down? … No. No, you’d been on your feet, alright. What was this place? Who was that _person_?  
  
You watched as a little girl ran back to this other you and reached down, tousling her hair and murmuring, “Go on,” Before turning to watch her go. You crept closer, weaving through a few more trees to get a better look at your-not-self.  
  
“I think that’s the fastest she’s ever gone in without an argument,” You heard. Your heart dropped through your stomach to your feet.  
  
“Well, she’s been out here all day, I think she’s too hungry to argue,” The not-you answered the man that was coming closer.  
  
It couldn’t _possibly_ be him. The man was on another planet in another system in, apparently, a ‘known universe’.  
  
A known universe… Shit, _shit_.  
  
Fucking solar storms.  
  
“Makes for a faster wash-up,” He said. You could see his face more clearly now, and you knew his face as well as your own. That was Pike.  
  
That was _a_ Pike. He wasn’t _your_ Pike, no matter how much he might look or sound like him.  
  
“It certainly does,” The not-you chuckled.  
  
“Think she can be trusted to wash her hands without flooding the bathroom?” He asked.  
  
“Why?” Not-you asked. You watched with bated breath as not-Pike’s arms wrapped around not-you’s waist.  
  
“‘Cause I’d like a quiet moment with my wife.”  
  
You felt your chest tighten at the words; so sweet, and reverent, just before he dipped his head for a kiss.  
  
You’d had _dreams_ like this, but to see it in front of you this way was almost worse. At least when you dreamt it, you could push it off as something silly, something that you may want, but could never happen. Now, knowing that _somewhere_ out there, there was something like this, something like you?  
  
Every time you and Pike bickered now, you would imagine a whole other kind of conversation happening in a parallel universe, where your daughter (who you’d named after _his_ mother) was out in the backyard, where you and PIke could have your _quiet moments_.  
  
Not-Pike had leaned away from not-you now, and was just smiling, this gentle, contented look.  
  
You glanced down as you heard your communicator crackle and were barely able to work out the words, “Commander? -- Enterprise-- Copy?”  
  
You glanced back up at the couple of them as you raised the communicator to your lips.  
  
“I copy.”  
  
“Beaming-- Out--”  
  
“Wait!” You breathed, taking one last look at Not-Pike’s face, at the way his eyes crinkled as he smiled. You swallowed thickly before saying, “Beam me up.”  
  
\--  
  
Number One was in the transporter bay when you were beamed in, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”  
  
You felt like you had.  
  
\--  
  
“Door.”  
  
You glanced back as the door to your quarters swished open and Pike strode in.  
  
The dilithum had been extracted, and the Enterprise was on its way. You were glad of it.  
  
“Are you alright?” He was still walking toward you, and you nodded a little bit, rising from your desk. Chris folded you into his arms and you went willingly.  
  
“I’m fine,” You grumbled, even as you leaned into him, “Boyce checked me over and everything.”  
  
Chris leaned away, holding you at arm’s length and searching your face.  
  
“... You gonna make me wait for you to say it?” He asked. You frowned.  
  
“Say what?”  
  
“ _‘I told you so’_.”  
  
You couldn’t even muster a smile as you huffed a tired laugh.  
  
“I’m saving it for another time,” You shook your head, “Everyone else is alright?”  
  
“Yes, though I’m sure Una already told you that.”  
  
She did, but you were glad to hear it again.  
  
“And you’re--”  
  
“I’m fine-- Where the hell did you go? Transporter room was able to get a lock on your location, but the coordinates are jumbled, they’re having a hell of a time deciphering it.”  
  
You stepped out of Pike’s arms, walking over to your bed and sitting on the edge of it. You rested your elbows on your knees, steadying yourself before you answered,  
  
“It wasn’t anywhere in _this_ universe. I don’t care if they work out wherever the hell I was, I’m just lucky I made it back.”  
  
Pike’s brow furrowed.  
  
“You mean…”  
  
You nodded.  
  
“Alternate, somewhere. I tried to use my PADD to find you all but it couldn't place me anywhere.”  
  
Pike drifted closer, sitting on the bed beside you and frowning.  
  
“Maybe it was a PADD malfunction.”  
  
“It wasn’t.”  
  
“How do you--”  
  
“Chris, I _know_.”  
  
You felt him turn his head to look at you.  
  
“...What happened?” He asked quietly. It took you a few moments.  
  
“Nothing bad.”  
  
You sighed, and raked a hand through your hair like that’d push whatever this was away, and glanced in his direction, not quite meeting his eye.  
  
“Doesn’t matter, anyway,” You added, “We’re all in one piece, we’re leaving, and I’m never letting you do anything during a solar storm again.”  
  
“I’d already come to that decision myself, Commander.”  
  
“Well, then it was all worth it, Captain.”  
  
You did look at him then, and he was giving you this soft smile, one that made his eyes crinkle. You had to look away, and quickly.  
  
“I’m uh-- I should get some rest--”  
  
“Of course,” Chris agreed, getting up from your bed, “Ping me if you need anything.”  
  
“‘Course. Same goes.”  
  
You glanced up as you heard the door closing, and caught one last glimpse of Pike smiling at you.  
  
_Let it go_ , you told yourself as you settled into bed, the computer powering the lights down, _That woman wasn’t you, that man wasn’t him._  
  
You blinked into the darkness, waiting for sleep to come.  
  
There was a whole other conversation going on, somewhere out there.  
  
One of you, with one of him.  
  
One of you, curled up in his arms.  
  
You rolled onto your side, closing your eyes.  
  
_Enough now._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This man, whoever he was, was trying to think five steps ahead; the wheels in his head were turning so fast there should’ve been steam pouring out of his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off of this ask I got on Tumblr (which I subsequently took too far): 
> 
> Just a question about your mirror verse captain pike. I know its been a while (not really that long) since you last wrote for it. But would you ever consider killing mirror verse reader and doing something along the line of what went on with discovery with mirror universe pike attempting to find and get with normal universe reader?

You knew it wasn’t him immediately, not _your_ Pike – just in the same way that you knew it wasn’t your Pike when you’d had that transporter mix-up, and that solar storm had stuck you in another universe instead of beaming you down to Nov O-62.   
  
It was his eyes. Narrowed, flinty, harsh - fixed on you. It was a look that your Pike had never given you. It was _calculating_. This man, whoever he was, was trying to think five steps ahead; the wheels in his head were turning so fast there should’ve been steam pouring out of his ears.   
  
And then he took two steps closer, hand reaching for the phaser in its holster. He was two seconds too late, though; yours was already out, and it was not set to stun.   
  
“What are you doing?” Nhan asked beside you, stunned. 

“That’s not Pike,” You hissed.  
  
“Have you lost your mind?” Nhan had started asking before Spock, _your_ Pike, and Number One had burst into the hall behind whoever this _other_ Pike was. And then Nhan had stopped asking. The other Pike had turned his gaze back to you, lips pulling into a thin little smile.   
  
“You’re a quick one here, too,” He murmured. You were pretty sure it was supposed to be a compliment, but you didn’t think you wanted compliments from a man that looked at you like you were a puzzle. 

–

“His genetic makeup is basically the same,” Boyce reported to those assembled in the ready room, “He’s certainly human, no one’s gone out of their way to clone you.”   
  
“Thank god. We can barely handle one of you occurring in this universe,” You grumbled.   
  
Pike shot you an unamused glance over where his mouth was being shielded by his hand.   
  
You’d managed to get the other Pike into a holding cell. You’d cuffed the man yourself, and had done your best to ignore the way his eyes had lingered on you the entire time; how his fingers had flexed and skated along the hem of your shirt before you could pull away.   
  
“I want him under twenty-four hour surveillance,” Pike ordered, lowering his hand, “And we’ll need to start working out ways to get him back to his…Origin point.”   
  
Delicately put.   
  
“It’s a wonder that this man has managed to make contact,” Spock commented from the other end of the table, “The chance of encountering an alternate form of yourself from another universe is less than .00186%.”   
  
You and Pike must’ve been particularly lucky.   
  
“I’ll take first watch with him,” You offered, sitting up.   
  
“No,” Pike said sharply. You frowned at him as he added, “Nhan will take first watch. And I have something I need to discuss with you, Commander. Let’s see what we can figure out and get him back as soon as possible. Keep me updated. Dismissed.”   
  
The others stood, clearing out and leaving you and Pike behind.   
  
“What was that about?” You asked.   
  
“I do not want you alone with him.”   
  
Your brows rose.   
  
“I–…What?”   
  
“That seemed fairly straightforward to me,” Pike shrugged.   
  
“I was more curious about the reasoning behind the direction than the direction itself.”   
  
“…He was watching you…Rather intently.”  
  
“Yeah, well. I’m cute.”   
  
Pike cut you a look, and you raised a brow.   
  
“Come on,” You added, “Nhan can’t watch him the whole time, she’ll have to rest at some point. You’re worrying for nothing.”   
  
Pike pushed a sigh out through his nose, lowering his eyes to the table. You leaned in a bit, folding your arms on the table.   
  
“Chris,” You said lightly, “That guy has no idea who I am.”   
  
You waited for him to call you out on the contrary, but clearly he didn’t hear what the other Pike had said to you in the hall. Instead, Chris argued,  
  
“Just because he doesn’t know you doesn’t mean you aren’t anyone to him where he’s from.”   
  
“Well if I’m someone good, then we may be able to get answers out of him faster.”   
  
“And if you’re someone bad?”   
  
“Then he’ll probably keep his mouth shut around me and we won’t have anything to worry about. Besides, he’ll be contained.”   
  
Pike didn’t like it; you could see it in his furrowed brow, and the purse of his lips.   
  
“I don’t want you alone with him,” He said firmly.   
  
“I’ll take shifts _with_ Nhan and we’ll arrange shifts to switch off with the rest of the security team until we work out how to get him home. Satisfied?”   
  
You knew that he wasn’t, but he nodded regardless.  
  
–  
  
When you entered the brig, Nhan was questioning the other Pike. He was standing before her, seemingly at attention. His expression was riddled with boredom; he wasn’t answering her questions. When he saw you out of her periphery, however, he tipped his head to the side to get a better view of you, tracking your movements.   
  
You tried not to let it trip you up, or to change the way you moved, but it was intimidating.   
  
“Hey– I’m _speaking_ ,” Nhan snapped. You folded your arms over your chest, staring the man down in turn. He shifted his attention back to Nhan, brow raised.   
  
“I was wondering when you’d stop.”   
  
That was your Pike’s humor, but with a sharp edge. You had to bite back a smile. His eyes darted to you again. You walked closer to the wall of the brig and leaned back, out of his sight. You caught sight of Nhan’s eye, shaking your head a little. She wasn’t going to get anywhere with him.   
  
–   
  
“Commander Nhan, you’re needed on the Bridge.”   
  
Your eyes snapped to Nhan as she was commed. She glanced over at you, then back at where _he_ was.   
  
“…Are you going to be alright?”   
  
“Fine,” You waved her off, “Don’t worry about it.”   
  
Nhan took one more look at the man before she left. The room was quiet for a few moments, and then you heard the steady clunking of footsteps in the brig. You glanced back toward the sound, but refused to move from your spot beside the wall.   
  
“… Are you hiding from me?”   
  
His voice was soft, but nearer to you than it had been. He was close now - right up against the edge of the brig wall closest to you, he had to be.   
  
“What would the point of that be? You know I’m here,” You answered.   
  
“And yet you stay tucked away. Why?”   
  
_Because the way you watch me frightens me._  
  
“I see plenty of you in my own universe.”   
  
He chuckled, soft, dark, warm - a sound that could wrap you up and drown you.   
  
“You see someone like me, perhaps, but you do not see me.”   
  
Damnit, you wanted to look. That gaze - you’d been mulling it over for hours - would it be just as intense now?   
  
You pushed off of the wall, then, and turned to stand in front of the brig.   
  
He seemed to impose and tower over you in a way that your Chris didn’t; he looked down his nose at you, set his shoulders with an air of superiority - and those eyes. Still calculating, but now they seemed just a touch less cold.   
  
“…What you said before, about me being ‘clever here, too’ – what did that mean?”   
  
This man’s lips quirked into a small, satisfied smile.   
  
“Just what I said. Where I’m from, you… You were a quick one. Sized up situations quickly, tended to look for your escape routes before you settled into a seat, preferred to hang back and listen to conversations, make your observations rather than simply jump right in.” Your heart was pounding. That sounded oddly like how you approached situations here, now — but that was different. That was your job on the Enterprise. You didn’t know this man, you didn’t know who you were to him in another world, another universe.

“I _was_ a quick one?” You repeated, “I take it I’m dead?”   
  
His smile faltered and his gaze dropped. You averted your own eyes.   
  
“Well, that’ll put you off your morning coffee.”   
  
This man huffed, shaking his head.   
  
“…What happened to me?”   
  
Chalk it up to morbid curiosity.   
  
You eyed his hands balling into fists at his sides, and you surmised it was fresh.   
  
“Never mind,” You added.   
  
He rested one of his hands against the brig walls.   
  
“…Who was I?” You asked next.   
  
“The Emperor’s daughter. My…” He trailed off.   
  
“Yes?” You pressed. Now you _had_ to know. How could it be possible that one of you should end up with Pike in _every_ single world but your own?   
  
His eyes lifted back to yours, alight with eagerness.   
  
“What should you have liked to be?” He murmured.   
  
“I don’t know what you–”   
  
“Don’t play coy,” He shook his head, “Maybe that works with _him_ , but it won’t work with me. I know you a little too well for that.”   
  
“You don’t know me at all,” You snapped.  
  
“There’s that fire I’ve missed,” he murmured, and you took a step back, unable to help the shiver that tripped down your spine. 

“… Tell us where you came from,” You ordered, ignoring the shake in your own voice, “Coordinates, method–”   
  
“Anything, on one condition.”  
  
“What?”   
  
“You return with me.”   
  
You didn’t speak; he didn’t wait for you to fill the silence with your questions or answer, just pressed on, “You think it’s some accident that I’ve wound up _here_?” He shook his head, “No, dear one. I’ve been looking for you. You’re wasted here– you’re wasted on _him_. Will he cherish you? Treat you the way you want to be treated?”   
  
You’re not sure you’ve taken a breath since he uttered his proposition.   
  
“– You don’t know me,” You manage after a moment, “I’m not– I _look_ like her, I’m not her–”   
  
“And I’m not him. But we’re the closest to what the other wants that we’ll ever get. In my universe, you are _revered_. I’ll take care of you.”   
  
Why was it so goddamn tempting?   
  
His eyes lifted to the door behind you, and that was when you registered the sound of approaching footsteps. You turn your head to see Number One, Nhan, and Pike filing in.   
  
“Commander,” Pike’s tone, _your_ Pike, was icy. This was directly violating his orders - you alone with this… This man that had just offered you what could very well be a lie.   
  
“Captain,” You answered, tone clipped. You took a step back as Number One and the Captain stepped forward to question the Pike that was in the brig. You retook your place just out of sight.   
  
“Any ideas as to how we can get you home?” Pike asked.   
  
“I already gave the Commander my terms.”   
  
You felt the full weight of everyone’s gaze shifting to you.   
  
“…Commander, a word,” Pike ordered. You grimaced, following him out of the room.   
  
“His terms?” Chris hissed once you were out of earshot.   
  
“Don’t start–”   
  
“This was exactly why I didn’t want you around him,” He tacked on before reeling away. He took a deep breath, steadying himself.   
  
“What were his ‘terms’?” He asked.   
  
“… I don’t– You’re not going to agree to them–”  
  
“What were they.”   
  
“More importantly, I’m not going to agree to them–”   
  
“They’ve got to do with you?”   
  
You gave Chris a small nod.   
  
“…Humor me.”   
  
“You won’t find it very funny,” You warned before adding, “He’ll tell us how to get him back if I go with him.”   
  
In that moment, you saw Chris, your Chris, shift into that same sharp man that was in the brig inside.   
  
“Wait, wait–” You reached out, catching hold of his shoulder as he turned to go back inside, “We can use this– No not like _that_ ,” You added as you saw his face shift to shock, “Just because I go back with him doesn’t mean it has to be a one way trip. He didn’t say I had to go back with him and stay.”   
  
Chris’ hand came up to brace himself against the wall, and his shoulders stooped a little bit.   
  
“I don’t… I don’t like the idea of bargaining with this man in the first place, and I do not want to use you as a bargaining chip. We barely got you back from one other universe, I’m not risking it again.”   
  
The look he was giving you was heavier than a neutron star.   
  
“Come on, we’ll be fine. Long as there are no solar storms in the area.”   
  
You managed to get Chris to crack a small smile.   
  
“Look, just… Get Number One and Nhan out here. I’ll have to talk to him for a while longer, maybe a couple of days. He seems pretty sharp, if I just drift back in there and agree to go, he’ll know something’s up.”   
  
– 

“Pride and Prejudice, really?” You frown, “That’s my favorite book _here_ …What the hell.”   
  
The man behind the glass laughed, and you smiled a little. You’d been talking to him for a few days now. You’d been on a few different shifts, and various people had been called away, or you’d sent them on some fools errand - all part of the plan, and never at the same time or for the same amount of time. You didn’t want him catching onto a pattern.   
  
“…Can I ask you something?” You glanced up at him, as if you hadn’t been asking him questions for days now.   
  
“Of course, dear one.” He didn’t call you that excessively, but when he did, _stars_ , it sent a warmth right down to your toes.   
  
“If… If you know that it won’t be exactly the same with me as it was with– her, then why bother?”   
  
The man – you couldn’t call him _Christopher_ or _Chris_ , couldn’t call him _Pike_ , couldn’t call him _yours_ , you couldn’t call him anything, really, not comfortably – considered you for a few moments.   
  
“I… Learned from her… Grew, in ways that I didn’t expect,” He said.  
  
“You think you’ll revert without her?”   
  
“I wanted to burn the galaxy when I lost her. She wouldn’t have wanted me to do that.”   
  
“Did you?”   
  
“No.”   
  
“… Well, then I don’t think you need anyone.”   
  
“And you? Do you not need anyone?”   
  
“We’re not talking about me.”   
  
“We were, in a way.”   
  
You rolled your eyes.   
  
“If I come back with you, you’d have to break yourself of that, you know. I’m not her, I’d never be.”   
  
“You’ve thought about it?”  
  
He was sitting up straighter, and your stomach twisted as you dropped your eyes to your lap. This is part of the ruse, part of the game. But… But you had thought about it, a little. If all that this man has said were somehow true, if he did love someone like you, if he wanted to give you a life that was fairly more exciting, if not more tumultuous… But you could never leave your life on the Enterprise, your friends, your family - _your_ Chris. You shook your head a little.   
  
“I–”   
  
“You have,” He accused softly, “You’ve thought about it.”   
  
“Stop it,” You ordered, lifting your eyes back to his. His lips were curling into a smile again, the one that he got when you acted particularly bossy. He liked it when you were bossy, you’d noticed that.   
  
“And stop looking at me like that,” You added.   
  
“Like what?”   
  
“Like I’m _her_.”   
  
His eyes flashed at that; you’d hit the nail on the head. And then he shook his head a little bit and murmured, “I know you’re not.”   
  
“You’re sure about that?”   
  
“I–”   
  
“Wait,” You held your hand up, “If… If you’re sure that you’re sure… I’ll go back with you. But only if you swear that you won’t try to make me whatever she was.”   
  
“I won’t.”   
  
“Promise–”   
  
“I _swear_.”   
  
He said it with a fierce surety that made your breath catch in your throat.   
  
“…Okay,” You nodded, “Tell me how to get us home.”   
  
His lips spread out into a grin that broke you.   
  
–   
  
It was the last look on his face that did it - confusion, anger, but ultimately, hurt. _Hurt_ , when he realized that the portal was closing and you were on the other side of it.   
  
You didn’t say a word to the others, just turned and returned to your quarters.   
  
–   
  
It felt ridiculous to be this torn up over a veritable stranger. For all the time you’d spent in his company, this was what you knew about him: He was a powerful man, he was ruthless, he’d loved someone that looked like you, once, and he looked like someone that you loved. He hadn’t told you much about the Terran Empire, but from what you could ascertain, the man was no saint.   
  
You’d stripped out of your command jacket, tossing it onto your bed. You’d poured yourself some Acamarian brandy and had been sipping it for some time when you heard chiming. You sighed.   
  
“Door,” You muttered. It ‘ _swooshed_ ’ open. You didn’t even check to see who it was.   
  
“Are you alright?” Chris asked – _your_ Chris.   
  
“Fine.”   
  
“…Would you like to try that again with the truth?”   
  
“Well would you like to try that again with a question that isn’t stupid?”   
  
You heard him sigh.   
  
“Don’t do this to yourself,” He pleaded.   
  
“It was my idea, serves me right that I feel like shit.”   
  
“Do you wish you’d gone with him?”   
  
“No.”   
  
You were surprised with the speed and frankness that the answer had left you, but it was the truth. You glanced over at Chris.   
  
“If I were meant to be in that universe, I would’ve been in it.”   
  
“Then what is it?” He leaned against your desk, watching you, “Is it… Is it the lying to him? Are you worried that he’ll come back?”   
  
“…Well I wasn’t until you said that, geez,” You grumbled before draining your glass. You heard Pike huff a quiet laugh.   
  
“Even if he does, I won’t let anything happen to you,” He reassured as you crossed back to your desk to refill your glass. You scoffed.   
  
“Please– Who’s the security officer here, me or you?” You asked, setting the glass down.   
  
“Hey,” Chris reached out, taking you by the shoulder and turning you toward him, “Come on, I mean it. I won’t let anything happen to you.”   
  
You hated that you were tearing up; you hated that you knew that in _more_ than one world, in some estimation, you and Pike were _it_ for one another. Who knew how many more there were out there?   
  
You lowered your eyes, blinking back the tears as you mumbled, “I know.”  
  
Chris’ communicator beeped on his belt and he pulled it out.   
  
“Pike here.”   
  
“Captain Pike, you’re needed on the bridge,” Una’s voice crackled through.   
  
“Be right there.”   
  
He had yet to remove his hand from your shoulder. He glanced down at you as he replaced his communicator.   
  
“I’ll be by later– Don’t drown this in Acamarian brandy, that stuff’ll make you go blind,” He squeezed your shoulder before letting go.   
  
“You’re not the boss of me,” You tried to tease, watching him. He turned back to you, brow raised.   
  
“Please– Who’s the Captain here, me or you?” He shot you a wink before leaving.   
  
You poured yourself another tumbler full of brandy before sinking into your desk chair.   
  
You’d be happy if you never encountered another alternate Pike again. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’d just known one another too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on another Tumblr ask that I took too far! This one: 
> 
> Im finally happy that pike and reader got together in always curious!!! Im ded. Now the question is is the other (i guess now short) series where alternative universe reader and pike always end up together. Will current reader and pike too. Homeboy sure was a little possessive over reader and sus of mirror pike. Like honey just say it

You’d known one another too long - that’s what you tell yourself when you consider telling Chris how you feel. Maybe if you’d said something while you were still at the Academy - or while you were still test pilots, maybe then. You knew that he would never make it a point to tease or hold your feelings against you, regardless of when you told him. But there was too much history, you valued his friendship too much. And, let’s face it, you were scared. If you weren’t, you would’ve told him a long time ago.

You’d just known one another too long. Thing is, because you’d known one another for so long, you knew when he was acting differently. And you really weren’t sure if it was the appearance of his alternate self or your having to interact with the other man so much while he was on the Enterprise. But you did know that Chris had been in… A mood.  
  
He was distracted. Not on the bridge, never on the bridge, but on his off hours - when you were at meals, or in the event that the two of you are in one another’s company. He’d taken to staring at you when he was sure you weren’t paying any attention, but you were so accustomed to the feeling of Chris’ gaze that you noted it each and every time.  
  
Now and again you’d catch him at it, glance up when he wasn’t expecting you to. He’d blink out of whatever reverie he was in the middle of, eyes widening a little bit before he’d flash you a small smile and return to whatever he was doing - eating or reading or editing a report. And then it would be your turn to look. You’d watch him unabashedly for a few moments, take in the sharp lines of his profile, or the smile lines or the dimples or the furrow in his brow. And then you’d refocus yourself, because you couldn’t just spend your life staring at someone.  
  
Thing was, he’d noticed some shifts in you, too. You just didn’t know it.  
  
–  
  
Shore leave on Lacarvis could not have come soon enough. Whatever was up with Chris would probably get better with some rest. Overwork, it was probably overwork.  
  
–  
  
“Okay, what are you doing.”  
  
“I’m not doing anything, what are you doing?” Chris retorted, reaching for his drink. You rolled your eyes. It was your third night of leave, and you’d talked Chris into going out to get a drink with you. The thing was, the distraction and the looks hadn’t stopped, not even as the two of you have settled side by side at a bar. You were angled toward one another, knees knocking as you spoke.  
  
“Okay, you know what, I’m just gonna ask: Are you alright? Because you’ve seemed pretty distracted lately.”  
  
If he was almost anyone else, you would’ve believed the, “I’m fine.”  
  
He wasn’t anyone else, though, and you’d known him for far too long.  
  
“Chris.”  
  
“What about you, huh?”  
  
You frowned.  
  
“What about–”  
  
“You haven’t been the same since Nov O-62, and whatever was wrong only got worse after you had to… Well, after you chose to–”  
  
“ _Chose_ to?” You repeated. He was referring to your time spent with his alternate self, of course.  
  
“It was your idea,” Chris reminded you.  
  
“We didn’t have any other options.”  
  
“I’m sure we could’ve come up with something.”  
  
“You could’ve come to me with a plan at any other– No. No, you know what? I’m not having this conversation again,” You waved him off before leaning back in your seat. Chris was quiet for a few moments.  
  
“What happened when you were beamed where you were beamed?” He asked after a few moments. You held his gaze before you averted your eyes. Chris leaned against the bar.  
  
“You said it wasn’t anything bad.”  
  
“So what?”  
  
“So I want to know what I almost lost you to.”  
  
You looked up at Chris, brow furrowed.  
  
“…What?”  
  
“Do you have any idea how long it took for us to get you back? How hard it was? Spock told me that it was a wonder we even managed it - that there was less than a trillionth of a chance that we would.”  
  
“Chris–”  
  
“You had a bad feeling about going down there during the storm, and I just shrugged it off and if I had lost you, I…” Chris shook his head, looking back down at his glass. You were quiet for a moment, stunned, watching him.  
  
“I didn’t know you were that hung up on… That,” You admitted.  
  
“Wasn’t just that,” Chris shook his head, “I saw how you were with him.”  
  
“How I _was_?”  
  
“It was like watching you with me through a fun house mirror where I should’ve been twirling a mustache and tying someone to train tracks.” You stifled a laugh, shaking your head. You took a moment to sort your thoughts. What you needed to say was tricky, risky.  
  
“That was not… Look, you called it a choice, but he was… He wasn’t you… And neither was the one I saw when I was beamed to the wrong place.”  
  
Before Chris could open his mouth to ask, you raised a hand.  
  
“I only saw him or– _you_ – for like a second. Okay, a minute– And a half-ish. I don’t know, I didn’t actually time it–”  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”  
  
“I didn’t want to talk about it–”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Because–”  
  
“You said it wasn’t bad–”  
  
“There was one of _me_ , too, and we were married, we had _a kid_ , and I was _freaked out_!” You snapped, “Now do you want another drink?”  
  
Chris didn’t say anything for a long moment, blinking at you before he said, “I’m going to need you to run that by me again.”  
  
“Do you want another drink?”  
  
“Not that part.”  
  
“Was there another part?”  
  
Chris leaned back in his seat, eyes searching your face. You suddenly felt very, very exposed. God, why did you tell him?  
  
“… A kid, huh?”  
  
“Mhm.”  
  
“Just the one?”  
  
“As far as I could tell, yes.”  
  
“Boy or girl?”  
  
“Girl.”  
  
“Name?”  
  
“Willa Jane.”  
  
Chris’ brows rose.  
  
“Sounds like your idea.”  
  
“Uh– It’s _your_ mother’s name,” You reminded him.  
  
“Yes, but you’re the sentimental one.”  
  
“Well, Willa is a nice name.”  
  
“Yes, it is.” The two of you were quiet for a while.  
  
“… He told me, you know,” Chris said after a moment, “Why he wanted you to go back with him.”  
  
You hadn’t known that. Here you thought you were keeping two secrets. “So?” You asked.  
  
“So… So that’s two universes. Two.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“We should make it three.”  
  
It was your turn to blink at Chris, trying to process what he’d said. You must’ve heard him wrong. You’d heard him wrong, or he was fucking with you– No, Chris wouldn’t do that, right?  
  
“… I’m gonna need you to run that by me again.”  
  
“I said,” Chris leaned in, resting a hand on the back of your chair, “We should make it three.”  
  
He wasn’t teasing. He wasn’t trying to fight back a laugh, like you’d seen him do - in fact, you were certain you’d never heard him sound so serious.  
  
“…Just ‘cause they named their kid Willa doesn’t mean we would.”  
  
“I know,” Chris nodded, leaning in.  
  
“And– And they were living on a ranch and I know how you feel about horses–”  
  
“Hey–”  
  
“But, you know, I’m sure there are things that the version of you from the Stabby-Earth version of our universe–”  
  
“Terran–”  
  
“Okay, don’t get technical on me–”  
  
Chris cupped your chin, stilling your head and drawing you in for a sweet kiss. You leaned into it, sliding your hand into Chris’ hair and sighing softly. You met his eye, unable to stop a smile as you leaned away.  
  
“…This doesn’t mean I’m gonna let up on you being ridiculous on away missions,” You warned. Chris grinned.  
  
“If you did, I’d be concerned.”  
  
“Solar storms are still out of the question.”  
  
“Understood. Is the ranch negotiable?”  
  
He was teasing, but you still pretended to take the time to consider it before saying,  
  
“… I’ll consider it.”


End file.
